When I gave birth to the Critter (via c-section) my doctor removed a cyst and polyp off of my left ovary. I wasn't all that surprised given I had PCOS (Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome). I guess I just didn't truly believe that there was anything wrong deep down (despite having several of the classic symptoms - I could always explain them away). I didn't feel ill. I didn't appear to have anything wrong with me outwardly. I suppose that's why yesterday I was a little shocked when the gynecologist told me that I had another cyst. This one however being vaginal and too large to leave. Apparently it is even too big for it to be excised in the office and I will need to have it removed under anesthetic.
There I was lying on her table feeling very exposed and uncomfortable. I've had too many pap smears to count and almost every one of them has hurt like the dickens. I was tensing as she sat down at my feet and started doing her thing, preparing for it to hurt when she says to me.."you have a cyst". She goes into all this detail about how big it is and what it looks like and how I will have to have it excised. While I'm recovering the news, my gynecologist asks me if I'd like to see it with a hand mirror because apparently "it's visible if you just spread..". I told her no thanks. All I wanted to do was shrink into the table or just disappear, but she needed to finish her exam. Surprisingly enough, the actual smear didn't hurt near as much as it has in the past and took but just a couple of minutes. I was soooo relieved when it was done.
Now, I'm not scared to have the surgery. This will be my fourth one and is minor. It's the unknown that comes afterwards that scares me. I never anticipated having cysts, having ones this big, or having to have them removed. I have no idea what causes these cysts. And while my doctor said there was nothing to be concerned about, I wondering if there is some underlying pathology to them. How many more of these cysts will I get? How big will they be and will I have to have them removed as well? I've known people who have been afflicted with the same disorder as myself and in the same situation I now find myself in (though more extreme). For them, the end result was a total hysterectomy. Hopefully my fate will be different.
So the first step in the year of being a better and healthier me is now over. The rest of the tests will come next week and from there, who knows (well..there is the surgery, but between then..). My gynecologist put me on birth control (sorry Mama, Kid) to help regulate my hormones, periods, and other PCOS symptoms. Next week, depending on the blood work results, Dr. V will also be putting me on a metabolism stabilizer which will help me regulate my blood sugars and help me to lose the weight I've been struggling to lose.
All in all, I'm pretty darn happy even with this small bump in the road. Once it's taken care of, it'll be on to the next step. Believe it or not, I'm STILL feeling optimistic - maybe even more so. Yeah me!!
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