Monday, December 31, 2007

Just Another Day

It's another quiet night at our house. O is asleep in bed while Big Daddy rests on the couch and watches football. I too am in bed, but as you can see, I'm taking a little me time to read blogs and write a post of my own.

We are not New Years Eve people, not even before O arrived on the scene. I think it has something to do with the fact that neither of us are big drinkers. Okay, so that's not all because of that. We have friends and enjoy spending time with them, it's just that most live a thousand miles or so away and I personally feel that's what NYE is all about, being with friends. Have I mentioned that I loath crowds? Another reason that we don't go out to celebrate.
Big Daddy says we don't go out for NYE because I'm a bit of a home body. I suppose that I am to some extent, but I don't see any reason to leave the house (except to go to a friend's house maybe) to drink to wait up until midnight to blow horns and make a whole lotta noise. We blow horns and make a TON of noise here on a daily basis. It's called having a toddler (though there really should be a holiday for that). I like celebrating New Years in my jams..fast asleep. It makes for a well rested, less moody, more tolerable Muffy. If only I could get my Mother and sister to work with me on that.

We participate in a few New Years traditions though. We leave food on the table so we'll be blessed to have food on our table in the next year (it's a good thing the furry babies don't like human food). We sleep with a dollar bill in the pocket of our jams so we'll always have money in our pockets (honestly..who makes p.j.'s with pockets?) And the last tradition is eating cabbage on New Years day, which for us is usually coleslaw. I can't stand cooked cabbage. Elch!

My New Year Resolutions - yep I make'em:
* To get better at finishing what I start.
* Be a gentler person.
* Learn to see things positively rather than negatively all the time.
* Learn a new craft.
* Get back on the treadmill and lose the weight I want (read finish what I started).
* Be a better wife and mother (yep, believe it or not, I'm not perfect).
* Build a garden.
* Get involved.
* Get pictures and other things up on the walls.
* To be a more giving person.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

A Season Ends and Another Begins

Tomorrow I will be taking down the Christmas tree, for which I am feeling slightly saddened about. Though I'm doing it only a few days earlier then normal this year, I felt a pang of sadness this evening as I stood in the center of my livingroom looking at my tree. It was a sadness that I have never felt prior to now.

My earliest memories of Christmas' past are of the Christmas trees we've had; the fresh pine smell, stringing popcorn and cranberries with my Mama for garland, all the hardened dough ornaments that Mama and I made (and after many years, them falling apart), the abundance of child-crafted ornaments that my sister and I made each year, and the countless hours we spent laying under the tree transfixed by the multi coloured lights. Even as I've grown up over the years, the tree has been that one real symbol where you knew that the Christmas season had begun when the tree went up. As a teenager it was a special day I spent with my Mama helping her add a thousand (or more) lights while listening to Christmas music. Decorating the tree was a process done over a couple days because her trees are just that involved. There were times when I would questions why she would put so many decorations on it, but her trees have always come out beautifully. They are like works of art.

As I've been writing this, I thought that the tree has been a tradition that I've never failed to miss, but I've just recalled a year when I didn't have a Christmas tree up. It was the first year Big Daddy and I lived together. I had only just moved in with him earlier in December, but him being a bachelor and who's family didn't make a big deal out of the holiday, he didn't have a tree or decorations. I don't recall if I was disappointed by that fact or not, but I've made sure we've had a tree every year since. There was even a year not too long ago when I made Big Daddy help me put the tree up in July. Of course there was no O running around and my furry babies didn't bother with it all that much.

I've been trying to put my finger on the reason the prospect of taking down the tree saddens me this year and not any of the others, but I'm not able to pin point a cause. This year is no different then the last 5 years at least. It's been mostly Big Daddy and I alone, without family and very few friends. My family are all in Canada and Big Daddy is from Ohio, so we're talking almost a couple thousand miles between us. We celebrate with our family from a distance as it's just too costly to travel to be with them this time of year, especially now that the critter has come along.
I wonder if maybe O is the reason that I'm having these feelings? Though this was his third Christmas, it was the first one that he actually had some comprehension of. His first Christmas, he was only 2 months old, a year old his second Christmas and now 2 years old his third. He understood a little about Santa and presents, but the big thrill for him has certainly been the lights. In the weeks past, the first thing he wanted to do in the mornings after he woke up, was to turn the tree lights on. Like his Mama, O could spend hours sitting in an otherwise dark room, staring at the luminous glow of the tree lights. So I don't know if it's because I see myself in him, or the fact that I'm passing on my family traditions to O, but I hope that he will look back when he has his own family and remember these special occasions with his Mama.


O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum!
Dein Kleid will mich was lehren:
Die Hoffnung und Beständigkeit
Gibt Trost und Kraft
zu jeder Zeit.
O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum!
Das soll dein Kleid
mich lehren.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

A little bit of Luxury

I've been very remiss in keeping up this blog. It hasn't been intentional..I don't think it ever is for anyone. Someone I once knew said that "you make the time for the things you want" and while I think there is some merit to that statement, I'm not always inclined to agree. Life has a way of interfering. Things can and do come up that prevent you from making time for what you really want. But that's how things go and that my friends IS life.

There are only so many hours in the day and mine are most often relegated to the things I need, not necessarily what I want. I have a young son who needs someone to take care of him. I have a husband who, believe it or not, needs someone to take care of him. I have a house that requires daily maintenance. There are bills to track, pay, and budget for. There are relationships with family and friends that need nurturing. There are a great many things that need tending to that, often what I want is put on the back burner. If I always made time for what I wanted, I'd be lying on the beach on some tropical island with no house or bills to worry about. And when I wasn't making time for that, I would be traveling the globe.

But those are hardly realistic wants and I don't think that was actually what the person was getting at. When all needs are met (and my body isn't needing sleep)I do take the time to fulfill some of my own wants as well. Occasionally I will sit down and watch a couple of my favourite shows, do some crafty stuff, take some pictures, or write in this here blog. I don't like to take time away from my son and my family and I've often looked at these things as luxuries. Then again, maybe that's part of my problem (a story for another time).

All that aside, I've been down for a couple of days with a head cold. Today has been the worst day, yet here I write. I think it has something to do with the cocktail of medicine I've taken in the last 12 hours. Thank you NeoCitrine and Tylenol Cold and Flu.

P.S. I was right about O on Christmas day. He was a bear and it was a very tough morning. But Big Daddy will tell you that I was probably worse than O. What does he know.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Not a Creature was Stirring..

..well..except for me, obviously, and O, and my furry babies aka China Pearl and Adair. So it's a restless night here at my house, but what can you expect on Christmas.

I have no idea why the little critter is awake and upstairs singing and cackling to himself. He should be tired. In fact he should be exhausted, but I get the feeling he's awake and going to be..right up until the time I go to get him up to see that Santa was here. He does this on occasion. He'll crash hard early, but low and behold come 3am he's wide awake and won't ever go back to sleep. How does a kid do that? Maybe it has to do with the fact that he takes 3 to 4 hour naps most days. Or maybe it's the reason he naps that long in the first place. Whatever the reason..he's going to be cranky, which I'm not looking forward to this Christmas morning.

Why am I up you ask? Well, it's two fold really. A) It's Christmas morning and I'm a toddler at heart. I've never been able to get a good sleep on Christmas Eve. I'm always too excited about opening presents. Not me, though that is fun. I do adore presents. But what I love most is seeing the expressions on the people that I love when they open up the gifts that I've chosen for them. I get so wound up with anticipation that I can't sleep that night. To be frank, I'm lucky if I don't break down and insist the person up their gift the moment I bring it home from the store. I used to be terrible like that, but I've improved some. My trick is not shopping too early in the season.
And B) I had Big Daddy's stocking left to fill. I didn't wrap everything that went into it this year, so I wanted to wait until he was asleep to do so. Check.

I could go back to sleep I suppose. My alarm is set for 6am, but it's so calm and quiet here that I think I'll pass. An opportunity like this doesn't come around that often. The tree looks beautiful this morning with it's lights all aglow, presents bursting out from underneath and spreading across the floor in a sea of mismatched paper. The moon is casting a silvery glow across my back yard, making it look like the yard is filled with snow (which would be lovely for today only of course). All the critters have settled and it won't be but a half hour before my Mom calls for our traditional 6am (her time) Christmas morning chat.

Isn't it a spectacular morning?

Monday, December 17, 2007

One too Many For Me

I'm a bad neighbour. I decided that just this morning. Today my neighbour's daughter came over to see if I would be able to watch her son for a few hours while she took her nanny to stay with her (the daughter) son (whom she had to put in the hosptial because of a 106 degree fever) while she ran errands. I said I would of course because I have trouble saying no to people who aren't family - I find that kind of odd. I immediately wished I could have changed my mind right then and there and given her some excuse, lame or perfectly logical, but I couldn't come up with one. Not having an excuse was one of the reasons I answered the door in the first place. I knew the moment it rang, it was someone wanting something from me, but I get tired of explaining why I don't answer my door..so I answered it.

Her son isn't a bad kid really. He's younger than O by a couple of months and just learned how to walk so he's at the age where a lot of attention is needed. Combine that with the fact that B has some kind of oral fixation and everything (and I do mean EVERYTHING) goes into his mouth. I certainly wasn't prepared for this kind of morning though. I was constantly on the watch to make sure that B didn't put something in his mouth that could hurt him like the hooks from the ornaments on the tree, small fruit-like balls on the Christmas tree, metal pulls on the fireplace screen and tv armoire, and any other small toy of O's. It didn't matter. He found all those things plus more including cat toys, toy cars, blocks, and shoe laces. I couldn't turn my back on him for a second.

Needless to say I'm exhausted and I'm ready for a nap. I'm glad it was only three short hours. I don't know how much longer I would have lasted. My patience was starting to wear thin as well. Nothing worked with B; Not smacking his hands, time outs, or just telling him no. To be quite honest, he barely responded to his own name. I lost my cool once and needed to count to 10 to calm down. After that, I decided that there are very few children that I would look after in the future.

It's my fault really. I set myself up for this kind of thing. I try to be a kind, compassionate and caring person, which is why I always volunteer myself if friends or neighbours need anything. "If you ever need anything, just give me a call". When I say it, I mean it. I truly do, but when they come calling there is often that twinge of regret and I kick myself for saying it. I do what I can to help out because I've extended that invitation and I don't go back on my word. And despite my sometime Scrooge-like attitude, I'm always thankful in the end that I could be there for them when they needed help. I guess I just need to work on my attitude and remember the end result. I have to keep in mind what's important to me, and being that person I set out to be..is.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

First Frost

While some other areas in North Texas have already been subject to an ice storm or two, we've just had our first frost of the year. I awoke to a crisp, clear, beautiful morning. Frost covered just about everything and it was too hard to pass up a photo opportunity such as this one. I took a moment to dress and start my vehicle, then dashed off to dress O for our little excursion. Normally I wouldn't have taken him, but it was Big Daddy's turn to sleep in this morning.
By the time we left the house, I was affraid I had missed most of the good light, but as it turned out, it wasn't all that bad. Next time though, I'll get up earlier to catch the dawn twilight. I headed down our county road towards a barn I had caught a glimpse of on our country drive earlier in the week. I thought it might yield a pretty picture. On the way though we were treated to some wild and not so wild life.




Two things that are abundant here in Texas..cattle and horses. In the same field I saw a pair of coyotes headed for the trees. I didn't get a great view, but it was enough.



The ambient lighting didn't last long, but here are a few other shots that I took this morning (the last being the barn that I specifically made the drive for. As you can see it wasn't great lighting there).

Friday, December 14, 2007

Big Daddy goes to China

Okay..so this blog is no where near where I want it to be. I'm trying different things out, but liking nothing. I'm pressing on if my endeavor to find a layout and scheme that I like. In any event, the world continues to spin and life moves forward.

This week my husband (who, from hence forth will be referred to as "Big Daddy". He loves that nickname LOL - not really) got word that he will be heading off to China early in the new year. We knew this was coming..eventually. We just had no idea when. The trip was originally scheduled for this summer, but as with most projects of this magnitude, the trip was continuously postponed.

While the trip is a business one for Big Daddy (in other words, he'll have very little time to do anything but work)I personally feel that it could be a trip of a lifetime for him. China is a world away and hardly urban America. The culture is different. The landscape is different. Life, to some extent, is different (I'm assuming). I'd jump at the chance to make this trip, work related or not. How often do trips, paid trips at that, to far away foreign lands come along in a person's lifetime? For a small town girl who has never been outside of North America, obviously not many.
But Big Daddy doesn't see it the way I do. All he sees is the negative aspects of the trip. He's going to be gone for at least two weeks and likely more. There is a 18-20 hour plane ride involved in tiny seats no less. He doesn't like anything that resembles Chinese food. He'll have to be away from his young son. It's also a great deal colder there this time of year then what he is used to. He doesn't like crowds, but this is China that we are talking about here. How quickly he forgets about all that history, culture, and beauty. He's going to be in the Chinese capital of Beijing, near the great wall of China, Tian'amen Square, The Temple of Heaven, The Forbidden City and lots of other great places! Have I mentioned that I would LOVE to be the one making this trip? Maybe another time, should the opportunity ever present itself. But then again, maybe not. I highly suspect this house would fall apart if I ever left for more than a week and O stayed at home with Big Daddy. Chaos and pandimonium would ensue I'm sure. Oh well, I can always dream I guess.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Facelift?

I know I said that I was happy with the way this blog looked, but the more I study it, the more I don't like the colour scheme or even the layout for that matter. I've decided to put my internet development skills to good use and design something that's more my style and more of what I'm looking for. I doubt I'll stray much from the Blogger standard, but something a touch different would be nice.

I'm hoping to come up with something quickly that satisfies me so I can get back to writing, but for now...

THIS SITE IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Christmas Wish List

- Monopod
- Tripod
- Trip home to see family
- Nintendo Wii
- Two new tables for my craft room
- Watch
- Trip to New Orleans to see NCAA football National Championship game
- To have snow for Christmas day
- For my son to actually sit with Santa for a picture
- Son to enjoy his first real Christmas celebration
- My mother-in-law to be more involved in our lives without us having to push for it
- New television

Monday, December 3, 2007

Turkey Day Updated

Thanksgiving was not what I expected this year. Something was off. It didn't feel right. We celebrated the holiday as we had years previous, without family. Though, this year we celebrated with our neighbours from across the road. God bless them and I thank them for their kindness and consideration in asking us to be a part of their Thanksgiving, but it felt..off..to me. I don't know how else to describe it.

As Christmas approaches (and having received another suggestion of a shared holiday dinner by said neighbour) I'm forced to contemplate why I didn't enjoy our communal meal. The food was excellent. I enjoy the company of my neighbour. She is intelligent, fun to be around, and funny. We have similar parenting styles and common interests. And while we are friends, there is no real close nit bond with her or her family. Our husbands have nothing in common and speak only to say hello and share a few other pleasantries. So while it was a pleasant enough afternoon, the occasion seemed to lack the warmth, merriment and sheer spirit of Thanksgiving.

I particularly find this revelation sad as I had hoped the dinner with our neighbours would make up for the fact that we weren't able to be with family this year. I thought it would be nice to share the holiday with others. But after some discussion with my husband, I discovered that both of us found the dinner did not live up to our expectations and was more awkward than anything. We've been asked to share Christmas dinner with them. But we've decided to decline, politely of course, and spend another quiet relaxed Christmas with the closest family nearby...each other.