The Inmates Escaped!

Today was a family day for our small crew. We've decided we don't have enough of those - even though it cost us a few dollars. Lately we've been busy with other things that we haven't taken the time to really get away from the house for more then a couple of hours and even then, most trips are errands.

So today we ventured to a place called Frank Buck Zoo in Leonard Park. It's a small zoo, but it's a very doable walk for a 3 year old and that was certainly part of the plan. We packed a picnic lunch and made the 45 minute drive with ample time to see all of the animals and play at the rather large playground just outside the zoo doors. The weather was fantastic! I don't think we could have picked a better day; 70 degrees with just a gentle breeze.

I think the day was a hit with everyone despite the slightly rocky start and briefly horrid end (that's what you get with a 3 yr old takes a nap in the car for less than an hour - at least with my boy. It's ugly!). At the zoo we had some Macaws talk to us and watched the kangaroos lay around in the sun, sleeping and scratching themselves (I think they were all male ones). O received a lesson in mating courtesy the giraffe couple and I seemed to attract an overly friendly African porcupine. At least the coyotes weren't yakking and then eating their vomit this trip - ya, that was a sight.

Tips and Tricks #4

I LOVE LOVE LOVE garlic and onion in just about everything I cook, but that means a lot of peeling and chopping. It also means some pretty smelly hands afterwards too, right? Here is a way to get rid of smell out of your skin:

Take a tablespoon and lay it curved side down in your open up-turned palm. Position that hand under the faucet with the water on for about a minute. The garlic or onion smell will be gone.

Blah!!

You can tell I'm getting desperate for inspiration when I start posting photographs like this:



I took this photo on my birthday a few weeks back. We had a small ice storm and this poor little guy was stuck out in the thick of things.

...oh weird. I'm having deja vous at the moment.

Okay, as I was saying, this photograph was one that I took earlier this month. I was going to take the Critter out this morning to capture some more icy weather, but I didn't have any batteries charged or ones that had any juice left in them. It was such a shame, I think I could have had a few nice ones this morning - icy AND foggy. Oh well. Hopefully there will be some more mornings like this one this winter.

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

Have you ever wondered where your kid comes up with some of the things they say?

Here is part of a conversation that Critter and I had this afternoon. I laughed so hard at what he said I nearly peed myself. My kid certainly has said some wacky things in his day.

ME: You're going to stay with me forever and be my baby, right? You won't leave me and get married, right?
CRITTER: Yep, I'm gonna stay with you and Daddy always. I'm not gonna get married and I'm not going to go to heaven and leave you.
ME: That's my boy! You make me so happy, you know that?
CRITTER: Yep. I love you Mama.
ME: I love you too buddy! You'll always be my baby.
CRITTER: Yep I sure will. I'm never going to leave you, ever never. And when I get bigger and stronger I'm going to have a baby too.

Here I change the conversation a little and try to explain to him about marriage and babies a bit more and I was really thinking he was starting to get the gist what I was saying.

CRITTER: I want to have a baby too. I want a baby now!

I guess he didn't get it, I'm thinking..or maybe I wasn't the one getting it right.

ME: Is it me you're wanting to have a baby?
CRITTER: Yes.
ME: Let me just get this straight, you want me to have another baby?
CRITTER: Yes!
ME: You know you wouldn't be the baby anymore if I had another baby. You'd be my big boy..a big brother.
CRITTER: Uh huh.
ME: So..do you want a baby sister?
CRITTER: No.
ME: A baby brother?
CRITTER: No.
ME: Then what do you want?
CRITTER: A PUPPY!

Whew, I dodged another bullet there!! But it certainly did bring up a whole other conversation which I'm sure he totally didn't comprehended either. Oh well, there's still lots of time.

Fear

Fear is a pretty common thing for people to have. I think there is (at least) one some thing that we are afraid of. Be it failure, dying, loss, or something more specific such as heights, mice, snakes, or insects. For most, these fears aren't debilitating, but are more of something that we've grown to be afraid of.

I have me a few fears. At times over the course of my life there have been more..and less. Over the years though my fears have changed. I've gone from being scared of insignificant (to me) things to being afraid of things on a much different level. Take for instance I used to be scared of needles. Seems kind of silly when I think back, but I had a pretty traumatic experience with them. Of course, I was just 7 years old and at that age, it got blown out of proportion. I've managed to over come that fear, but then I've had to, being stuck with as many as I have since then.
Mice are another thing I have a fear of but for no apparent reason why. I think it's just because I find them dirty and well..down right nasty. No..no mouse has ever done anything to me. It's just one of those things that I developed a fear of. These days there are other things that frighten me, but they pertain more to events surrounding my son and my capabilities as a mother. I fear the unknown, the future, the uncontrollable. But more or less, I do what I feel is right and put my faith in God that it will all turn out.

Guess what? I do have a secret. I have a fear now so profound that I classify it as a phobia. And it may sound slightly weird given my status, but I am fearful of men. Sounds odd given the fact that I'm married to one, right? It's true though. I'm scared of men - new strange men - and often to the point where it effects my life negatively. Meeting new people isn't always easy, but my fears go beyond just meeting an unfamiliar man. I actually go out of my way NOT to meet them. I avoid eye contact and speaking to them altogether if I can. I will put as much distance as I can between me and a male stranger. There have even been times when I wouldn't leave my home because it meant coming face to face with a unknown man. I get the uneasy feeling, sweaty palms and racing heart beat. I lay awake at night tossing and turning because it's not enough that I simply fear men! No! I am also afraid that I'll be attacked by one or my home will be broken into by one (then attacking me).
Sounds odd, doesn't it? I'm not certain what manifested this phobia within me, though I suspect I have an idea (a story for another time). But there is one thing or rather one person that has helped me cope with this, Big Daddy. He is very much aware of my phobia though I try not to let it effect him or Critter too much. Yet I don't think he knows that he is what helps me keep my cool. I'm Lionel (from the Peanuts cartoon) and he is my security blanket. If we are out together and the fear creeps up - and it does - all I have to do is reach for his hand, holding it tightly in mine and I'm able to talk myself down. Even when I feel frightened in my own home I search for him to quell my fears. I have no explanation as to why he is able to put that specific phobia at bay, but he does and that in itself is very comforting to me.

So tonight I'm going to pretend that the big lug is here, lying beside me instead of in some hotel room in North Carolina because when he's gone, my Louisville Slugger just doesn't have the same reassuring sooooooothing affect.

Goodnight kiddies.

Time In A Bottle

Today was another milestone in a long list of accomplishments for Critter. It's become pretty clear to me that he has graduated from using the kiddie sized seat for the toilet. I recognize that this is hardly the jump up and down, celebratory, whoop it up kind of accomplishment but it's kind of a big deal for me.

When Critter was a baby, I couldn't wait for him to hurry and grow up. I longed for him to sit up, to eat by himself, to walk unassisted, and talking. I couldn't wait for him to be a toddler that I could share the joys and the wonders of his new world. Now that he's there and learning and exploring even more, I can't wait for him to be cognisant and understand the things that are yet beyond his comprehension.
I think today though, I realized that I miss his baby moments and the wonderment in his eyes when he discovered something new. I miss seeing his adorable toothless smile when he was pleased with himself or the things going on around him. I'm missing the discovering that he and I did together as first-time Mama and son. It's not that we still don't have those times, but now we're getting into much more familiar areas for me. I know what I'm doing now (for the most part).
My baby is growing up so fast and becoming so independent, it's scary. Sometimes he seems more like a smaller version of an adult then the three year old toddler he's supposed to be. He's such a smart inquisitive boy that wants to do everything on his own (except for snuggle - and for that I am eternally grateful). Surely I'm not disposable to him yet, right?

Tonight, I'm reminded to slow down and cherish the present moments that Critter and I have because, sadly, those times will be diminishing once I have to go back to work and him to preschool.

For Owen:

If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that Id like to do
Is to save every day
Till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
Id save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
Ive looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with

If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
Ive looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with

By Jim Croce

A Lazy Sunday Afternoon

Okay..so it's been a few days, but not to worry, I haven't abandoned you kiddies. We've just been dealing with colds all around here. Today is only the second day I've really felt like myself and so I return to you good people, more or less, germ free. I tried to blog one day earlier this past week but wasn't able to finish it and while the moment has passed, I'll finish it at a later date.

So for now I'm going to go and enjoy the lovely fire that my boys built. It's quite possibly a little too warm for a fire this afternoon (though it wasn't this morning), but I just had to have one. I'm indulging my inner child, what can I say?

Book Review - The Time Travelers Wife

I recently read The Time Travelers Wife by Audrey Niffenegger and for me it was one of those books that I just couldn't put down. Sure there were a couple slow parts, but they were very few and far between. It's 560 pages so it's a long one, but it only took me a couple of days to read. I found the story and it's characters that riveting.

From the back cover of the book:

A most untraditional love story, this is the celebrated tale of Henry DeTamble, a dashing, adventuresome librarian who involuntarily travels through time, and Claire Abshire, an artist, who's life takes a natural sequential course. Henry and Claire's passionate affair endures across a sea of time and captures them in an impossibly romantic trap that tests the strength of fate and basks in the bond of love.

It read a little corny to me at first, but that description barely scratches the surface of the level of depth to this story. It's more than a love story. It's a life story and while the basic premise is outlandish (time travel), the characters have very real, very normal life experiences. I don't want to say too much about this book. I'm not the spoiler type. But I will say that this novel is certainly well worth the read. I'm no fan of sequeals, but there should be one for this book.

Hey Ladies!

I love eavesdropping on the conversation my son has when he doesn't know I'm listening. Today's was an exceptionally cute..though slightly disturbing one(at least for this mother).

The three of us had lunch at a fast food place not far from home today and while there, Critter found himself very much in the thick of things and in the company of a small gaggle of girls. B.D. and I were sitting below having lunch while all around us, kids played in the indoor playground. From time to time Critter would pop his head out above us and say hi. Most of the time though, we simply watched on while he chased after the other children until a conversation caught my attention.

Girl Gaggle: What's your name?
Critter: O
Girl Gaggle: How old are you?
Critter: Three.
Girl Gaggle: You're three?
Critter: Uh huh.
Girl Gaggle: The gaggle giggles here and there is some mutterings about how cute he is.
Girl Gaggle: Where do you live?
Critter: Texas.
Girl Gaggle: Where in Texas? Do you live around here?

I don't hear my son's response, but I know that he has said something because the girls giggle again and say that he is so cute.

At this time, I think O turns around to play and the girls move on to play somewhere else. Seconds later, Critter's voice rings out, "Hey, Ladies!" "Ladies?" " HEY LADIES, where'd you go?" At this point, B.D. and I bust up laughing. Our boy was searching for the gaggle of girls who briefly befriended him. In my head I hear the Beastie Boys singing "Hey Ladies..get funky" and I can't help but picture Critter over the years as he matures and REALLY becomes interested in girls.

I can see it now, my future daughter-in-law is going to be half my age. Older girls are O's thing and I can almost guarantee he's going to have himself a Mrs. Robinson. Right now, it's kind of funny to watch him trail after these girls. He smiles at them and is all cute with them. He wants to play with them even if there are boys around doing the stuff he loves to do. He finds the girls and is practically glued to their sides whether they want him to be or not.

And the expression "hey ladies"? He'd never used that one before. It's been "excuse me girl?" until I would remind him to ask them their name. B.D. asked me about the new expression and the only thing I can come up with is that he's taking a cue from "Syd" the sloth in the movie Ice Age. My son is taking lessons from a sloth..a cartoon sloth. Television..what a useful and educational tool, huh?

Tips and Tricks #3

Mayo goes on lots of different foods: sandwiches, burgers, french fries (not mine personally, but several of my friends eat mayonnaise with their fries). Ever heard of mayonnaise being used to take water ring stains out of wood?

Well, if you haven't, next time you get a water stain on your wood coffee table try spreading a little mayo on the ring and let it sit a while. Give it some time and then wipe it off. The ring should disappear and your table return back to new. Don't ask me why, but it has worked for me.

See..

..this is why I wasn't blogging so much. I started out strong, right? I was all dedicated (and it's not that I'm not) and gung ho and now take a look at my posts! It's drivel!

Morning is always a good time for me to write. It's also the better time for me to get stuff done around my house that needs doing. I guess I have yet to master multitasking. I'm not so great at it it seems. You see, I get doing my stuff and then I want breaks and there is a boy to play with, dinner to make, a husband to spend quality time with that when I sit down to type on this here blog it's late at night and I feel all this pressure to turn out something y'all will want to read. And sure, I've got plenty I want to talk to you good people about, but I am just so dang tired!

So what I really want to say tonight is:

- Gail..I can't leave a message for you over at your other blog. Well..I could..it just requires getting a Typepad account I guess. But it's just so darn easy now. I know..lazy.

- Did you see the story on the US Air plane landing in the Hudson River??? Wild! It makes me nervous about B.D.'s flight to and from North Carolina 10 days from now!

- No test results back from either doctors and no surgery scheduled as of yet. My gyno goes on holidays tomorrow. I guess I'll be getting the info from her nurse. No news is good news, right?

- While O and I were leaving the public library, a woman walked past my vehicle wearing work men's protective eye wear. Now they weren't just the one's you slip on. They were goggles, complete with heavy duty rubber band holding them on. Of course it struck me odd. Who wears huge, honkin, protective goggles....unless they were prescription? And while, very bad of me..it struck me as funny and I had to chuckle despite the trying day I was having with my boy.

- It's official. Today, my boy proved once and for all that he IS in fact more stubborn and pigheaded than I am. I'm still trying to figure out if I should be surprised by that or not.

The Waiting Game

Today I got a thumbs up from the doctor (sort of..I guess). I had the rest of my physical and as far as they can tell, I'm doing just fine. Everything sounded good. Everything looked good. Now I'm just waiting to hear back the results of my blood test and pap smear. Those two will tell it all.

While my EKG results were normal, I'm still scared that my blood tests are going to come back with different results. You see, my Father had a heart attack 3 years ago. His one brother had a stroke in his late 40's and their father died of a heart attack at age 48. Heart disease obviously runs in that side of my family and I'm apprehensive that I could be afflicted with the same thing. I'm young yet, but given my PCOS/weight issues and family history, I'm a pretty prime candidate I figure.

Of course there are steps I can take and that's what getting the exams have been about this year. Once I get my results back, I'll be working with my doctor to get my health back on track. Because while it's important for me to be healthy for me, it's more important that O will have a healthy and happy Mama as long as humanly possible.

Isn't it amazing what having a child can make you realize about your life?

Should I or Shouldn't I?

I've been thinking that seeing as I was trying something new this year with my blog, I'd start off with a clean slate and give my blog a face lift. But as you can see I haven't changed a thing at the moment. I really like the clean and simpleness of the layout and the feel of the black background. But thanks to my friend Gail and her ever inspiring photographs, I've been giving colour a second thought. Splashes of colour can still be classic, elegant, and simple right?

What are your thoughts?

Not Feeling Well - Another Unpost.

No blog post from me today kiddies. I just don't feel well enough tonight to sit here and type out the post I had intended to type. I'm going to take me a hot shower and go snuggle with B.D. and watch a little t.v.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll be feeling better. Or maybe I won't cram all my chores into the morning and I'll get my post out then when things are definitely less hectic around here.

Fort Worth Stockyards

One of our most favourite places here in the Metroplex is the Fort Worth Stockyards. We've yet to explore much of the Dalls/Fort Worth area, but it's one of the local sites that we find ourselves going to time and again. It's always worth the while to go.
This Christmas while my parents were visiting, we made another trip. It had been almost two years since we'd been but decided to take my step-dad there, who had never been. For Critter it was his second trip, but he was so young this time was like his first.

For those of you who have never been (and I suspect most of you haven't), the Fort Worth Stockyards is a treasure trove of history and interesting sights. To this date, there is a twice daily longhorn cattle drive - the only one in the world. There are lots of fantastic shops, museums, a rodeo arena, a couple of hotels (one original to the historic area and one new), restaurants, the only steam train left in the area, cattle stock exchange and Billy Bob's - the worlds largest honkytonk. For more enough on the Fort Worth Stockyards, check out their website here.

Here are some of the pictures I took that day:



On the left is a view of the Fort Worth Stockyard Histork District and on the right, the Stockyard Cattle Exchange building - still in use today.



Here are the cowboys driving the longhorns down the main road through the stockyards. They are driven exactly as they were over a hundred years ago, from one set of pens up by the meat packing plants to other pens in the stockyards. As we, the crazy on-lookers, stand on the sidewalks, the cattle walk past with in touching distance. It's great!



On the left is a quaint little alley between the rodeo arena and one of the orignal buildings turned shop. On the right is a ground view of one of sheep/pig "subway" areas of the original stockyards.



Critter..in his glory! In the first picture, O poses with his balloon hat complete with balloon horse. In the second, we're there in front the restaurant we had lunch in. O get's his rodeo on!



Here..LOL..my Mama gets fresh with one of the locals. And here my boy makes friends with Coco Puff, the pony, as he catches a ride.



When was the last time you saw a longhorn being rode by..well..anyone? LOL Here Pacos Bill (the longhorn, not the man!) makes his way down the street to his station where he hangs out for the day. For $5 you can get on his back and have your picture taken. In the other picture is Critter and I dancing on one of the dance floors in Billy Bob's. Above us (though you can't see it) is saddle completely covered in rhinestones.

The Unpost

My mind is drawing a blank tonight. Usually I blog in the morning so this way if I don't finish it right away, I have some time to finish it up later. Today though, I've left my writing until late and I've drawn a complete blank. I have no idea what to blog to you good people about. Nothing is coming to me and B.D. has been no help.

So here it is folks, my post for the day. A good one isn't it? Unfortunately, it's the one that you're stuck with. At least I'm keeping up with the little challenge I set forth for myself. Tomorrow's post will be of more substance, I assure you.

So for now, goodnight kiddies!

Moolah Matters

I'm afraid my new found optimism has taken a bit of a hit today. Oh it's still there, but the foundation is a little shaky.

The source of my anguish you ask? Money, or lack there of. We are by no means in dire straights but our nation's economic crisis is certainly taking it's toll on our personal finances. You see, our household is reliant on the status of home construction and the real estate market and we all know where it's at right now.

The company that B.D. works for has been in business for a hundred and twenty years. They've never laid anyone off - not even during the great depression. No one quits working for the company. If a position becomes available, it's because someone has retired after working there almost the majority of their life. They have never had a year where they weren't turning at least some kind of a profit, that is until 2008. For the first time since the company's inception, it has failed to have a money making year. Gone is the profit sharing. Now, they're sharing the loss.

For B.D. that means 4 hrs less of work a week and a 10% reduction in pay. In May, if the economy hasn't improved, it will mean a 25% percent reduction in pay. I'm not certain of the exact number off of the bottom line, but it's not pretty.

For me, it means going back to work. Not the half-time we had originally planned, but full-time if we are to afford childcare. I don't mind. In fact I'm looking forward to it (a smidge). I'll miss the time with my boy, but if it means this family surviving..

Thanks to Suze Orman we've already begun our new financial plan for the new year. Wish us luck, huh?

too tired to think of a title for this entry

How is it that one tiny 3 yr old boy can spend maybe 4 hours sleeping and the rest of the night, wretchedly vomiting and yet have a bundle of energy when he wakes up? Explain that to me because I'm sooo freaaaakin' tired I can barely keep my eyes open and I probably got an hour more sleep than he did!

I suppose what really matters is that he feels better and the bug was short-lived. No, wait. I take that back. What REALLY matters is that he still takes naps and when he naps later today, I can too. Hurray!!

An End to Doctor Dodging

As part of my getting healthy, I stopped dodging the doctor this year and made an appointment for a well woman exam. Needless to say, it's been a few years. WARNING: Fellas - this is where you cover your eyes and skip to the next entry, unless you really want to hear the gory details.

When I gave birth to the Critter (via c-section) my doctor removed a cyst and polyp off of my left ovary. I wasn't all that surprised given I had PCOS (Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome). I guess I just didn't truly believe that there was anything wrong deep down (despite having several of the classic symptoms - I could always explain them away). I didn't feel ill. I didn't appear to have anything wrong with me outwardly. I suppose that's why yesterday I was a little shocked when the gynecologist told me that I had another cyst. This one however being vaginal and too large to leave. Apparently it is even too big for it to be excised in the office and I will need to have it removed under anesthetic.

There I was lying on her table feeling very exposed and uncomfortable. I've had too many pap smears to count and almost every one of them has hurt like the dickens. I was tensing as she sat down at my feet and started doing her thing, preparing for it to hurt when she says to me.."you have a cyst". She goes into all this detail about how big it is and what it looks like and how I will have to have it excised. While I'm recovering the news, my gynecologist asks me if I'd like to see it with a hand mirror because apparently "it's visible if you just spread..". I told her no thanks. All I wanted to do was shrink into the table or just disappear, but she needed to finish her exam. Surprisingly enough, the actual smear didn't hurt near as much as it has in the past and took but just a couple of minutes. I was soooo relieved when it was done.

Now, I'm not scared to have the surgery. This will be my fourth one and is minor. It's the unknown that comes afterwards that scares me. I never anticipated having cysts, having ones this big, or having to have them removed. I have no idea what causes these cysts. And while my doctor said there was nothing to be concerned about, I wondering if there is some underlying pathology to them. How many more of these cysts will I get? How big will they be and will I have to have them removed as well? I've known people who have been afflicted with the same disorder as myself and in the same situation I now find myself in (though more extreme). For them, the end result was a total hysterectomy. Hopefully my fate will be different.

So the first step in the year of being a better and healthier me is now over. The rest of the tests will come next week and from there, who knows (well..there is the surgery, but between then..). My gynecologist put me on birth control (sorry Mama, Kid) to help regulate my hormones, periods, and other PCOS symptoms. Next week, depending on the blood work results, Dr. V will also be putting me on a metabolism stabilizer which will help me regulate my blood sugars and help me to lose the weight I've been struggling to lose.

All in all, I'm pretty darn happy even with this small bump in the road. Once it's taken care of, it'll be on to the next step. Believe it or not, I'm STILL feeling optimistic - maybe even more so. Yeah me!!

The Light of my Life

It's dark, cloudy, and rainy here again today, but I have my little ray of sunshine to brighten up the day.



Here he is with his first (and probably his last) mohawk. It wasn't a hit with him at all. Having his hair styled just wasn't his thing. Actually, it was more like torture, but I thought it was kind of cute (when it was styled - which was almost never). The hairdo lasted 6 days and then I shaved it. He still looks cute though.

Hello 2009

Another holiday season has come and gone, bringing with it another new year.

This holiday season was passed with family. My Mama and Step-dad came down to celebrate Christmas with us and it was a wonderful time. Of course the boy was spoiled. He got almost everything he asked for - no puppy and no penguin.
New Year's Eve was passed quietly with our friends next door. Believe it or not, for the first time in a few years, we were actually awake long enough to ring in the New Year.

So here we are in another new year. I've given plenty of thought to my resolutions, but after some consideration..I've decided to make some goals for the 2009 year and not just resolutions. I looked back at the ones I made last year and I don't know that I can say I stuck to many..if any. I'm hoping that if I actually have goals - with clear and concise end results - I'll be more apt to accomplish what I'd like to.

So my goals for this year..

1. Lose weight - 60lbs to be exact (ugh!)
   
2. Get a job to help out the family - 2009 is going a tough year financially (I'm sure you'll hear more about that later)
   
3. Get my genealogy material organized
   
4. Make enough money to purchase my new loves - a Nikkon D90 and 24" iMac
   
5. Get O into a preschool
   
6. Keep a daily blog starting today - I write a ton, but 60% never sees this blog
   

I made some resolutions as well:

1. Give my husband more credit for the things he does
   
2. Give up control more
   
3. Be better at managing the budget and record keeping
   
4. Be a calmer person - a repeat from last year
   
5. Educate myself more and not just being satisfied with knowing the bare minimum
   
6. Help my child be a less angry boy
   

I'm optimistic!