From Rags to Riches

There was never really any question that I would stay at home with our son when he was born. It was something that my husband and I both wanted and thought best. Despite the fact that for the first time in my life, I was working at a job I truly loved, it there was no other decision but for me to be a stay-at-home Mom. I loved my job but I loved my son even more and I wanted to be the one to take care of him.

Even though it was the only choice for us, it wasn't an easy one. I wasn't making a great deal of money and though my husband was making double what I made, we didn't have any money saved up. So instead, we packed up our belongings, sold our home, and moved 2000 miles from friends, the city we had come to love and jobs that we both enjoyed going to each day for a life that would allow me to be home with our son.

It was quite the adjustment for our family, but especially for me. The first few months I think I lived in that "new mommy" fog where you still can't believe that you're a parent and the little bundle you're holding is yours. During that time, I didn't give much thought to the fact that I was no longer working. I was too busy changing, feeding, and caring for my new son. Not to mention taking care of the finances, the daily household chores and my husband. I was busier than I had ever been, but every sacrifice we made was worth it to me. It has meant being there for every smile, every step, every word and every new milestone met. Each day I see the fruit of my labour and it's been worth all the late sleepless nights, poopy diapers, tears and tantrums.

Being a stay-at-home Mom is not easy. Sometimes it's a tireless thankless job of which there is little reprieve or appreciation. I can't tell you how many times I broke down in tears of anguish and frustration. It wasn't that my son had any issues as an infant. In fact we were amazed at how good of a baby he actually was, but it's unbelievable what sleep deprivation, stress of a move, having a husband who worked all the time, and being hundreds of miles from friends and family will do to a person. There were days when I was desperate for adult conversation; desperate to find someone who I could say "OMG, you too?" to. I longed to escape even if it meant making a 10 minute trip to Wal-mart to pick up something for the household. I missed having friends or even friendly neighbours. What made the situation more strenuous was having a husband that truly didn't understand anything I was feeling or going through. He had high expectations for me and I felt like I let him down each time I was too tired to make dinner, napped instead of doing the dishes, or when the laundry would pile up because some days I just didn't feel like doing it. There were days when I felt that he saw me only as a nanny and a maid to keep house for him. Battles would ensue as we failed to understand each other and for a period of time they became quite regular in our house.

But that was then. Each day gets better and better as my son continues to grow and learn his way in the world. The more independent he becomes, the easier it is to manage and balance my household. He is fast approaching age 2 and is rather capable of entertaining himself when Mama needs some time to make some phone calls or needs to do the finances. He has even become Mama's little helper when it comes to putting away his toys, helping to vacuuming, pull weeds in the garden and feed his kitties. The tears and bouts of anguish ceased and have since been replaced with many happy days filled with snuggles, story time, hours of never ending fun and wonder. That doesn't mean that we don't have our bad days and set backs, but the good far out number the bad and I feel more than blessed to have had this time.

For us, it was the right decision. There have been no regrets. There are days when I miss getting up and going to work every day, but even then I think I miss going to work in part because having the extra money is always nice and not because I actually miss working. Recently, my husband and I have started kicking around the idea of putting "O" into daycare. It wouldn't happen for another year or so, but we are hoping that he will establish even more social skills and prepare him for school (above and beyond what he learns at home) . At which time, I'll go back to work part time so that I can still continue to be there when he needs me. But for now, I'll continue to cherish the time that he and I have..the good and the bad and be thankful that I took the job of stay-at-home Mom.